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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069001">Cinderbrush: You Are Never Coming Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writernotyetauthor/pseuds/writernotyetauthor'>writernotyetauthor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cinderbrush (Web Series), Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Gen, Halloween, Multi, My Chemical Romance as Deus Ex Machina, Survivor Guilt, Temporary Character Death, also most of the characters are autistic because im autistic and i say so, bella sara cards as a plot point, using wikihow to exorcise somebody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:14:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069001</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writernotyetauthor/pseuds/writernotyetauthor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a fan-made sequel to the wonderful Cinderbrush Oneshot!</p><p>It is almost Halloween in Cinderbrush Hills. Rumors continue to grow and spread as the student body tries to come to terms with the death of their classmate, Amanda. Riddled with guilt, Af, Sasha, Cameron, and Jamie search for a reason why they got to live while she did not. Of course, that becomes complicated when Af sees Amanda floating outside their window. Their attempts to contact her will bring to light the nature of her death, the nature of guilt and grief, and the nature of the newfound relationships her tragedy has created.</p><p>Mind the content warnings at the start of each chapter!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aff Flowers/Sasha Murasaki/Cameron Solomon/Jamie Wrenly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1: I'm Just a Ghost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Content Warnings for this Chapter:</p><p>Ghosts, in depth description of mourning a loved one, description of a hospital stay, light description of medical precedures, survivor's guilt, gun violence, mention of blood, mention of police, teenagers</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was midnight on a Sunday but Af wasn’t sleeping. They weren’t sure if it was a werewolf thing, a teenager thing, or just a them thing, but the dark of night didn’t seem to bring with it the same sobering tiredness that it brought others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their phone sat unused at their side as they stared up at the beige ceiling they hadn’t bothered to paint over yet. They weren’t sure what color they’d want to paint it even if they had the time to. Maybe green, or orange. The crickets outside their window chirped incessantly. That is, until they didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af didn’t hear when exactly the sound of crickets was replaced by the sound of eerie, creaking wind, but eventually they began to realize the strange quiet they found themselves in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking they forgot to lock their window tightly enough, Af stretched and began to sit up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amanda’s face pressed against the glass to look back at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a millisecond, Af was so happy they could have flown into the sky. Then the pit of fear started in their stomach as reason set in and they scrambled away from the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck,” they said, unblinking. Back to their headboard, they stared in shock at the dead girl in their window. Eyes trained on Amanda, they grabbed for their phone. They kept the screen in the corner of their vision as they furiously typed out the number of the only person they knew who might be able to deal with ghosts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The phone rang once, then twice. Amanda waved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>hhhello?” Jamie’s voice filled their right ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck,” said Af.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whadidado…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jamie I see Amanda outside my window,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jamie what do I do?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shiiiiit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af considered the tone of their voice for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jamie, are you high???”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am, I got shot a month ago and painkillers don’t do shit anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af slammed their fist into their bed. They knew all that, but the guilt and anger that coiled in their stomach begged to lash out at someone else instead of burning up with no oxygen to feed on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Af…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af held their breath, their beating heart the only thing breaking the silence of their dark room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell her I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something broke inside Af. They looked back up to their window, but Amanda was gone. She was gone. And once again, it was all their fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie tried their hardest in their stupor to calm Af down, but in the end their vicious sobs brought Mr. Flowers running into their room. Af heard his footsteps coming and they heard him knock on the door before coming in like they had asked who knows how many years ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Abi-Af, what’s wrong?” he asked, panicked and half awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af dropped their phone as a muted </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hi, Af’s dad </span>
  </em>
  <span>burbled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t ask anything more, he just held them as Af cried into his shoulder and rubbed circled into their back. Their mom was much more emotionally intelligent than he was but he was certainly trying his best, and faintly Af knew that. They knew that, but they knew that the same way that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> they weren’t the one who murdered Amanda. They knew that the same way they knew a million earths could fit inside the sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The moon was nearly invisible against the black desert sky. The sound of crickets sang with their sad, wailing cry. In the morning, the neighbors would swear they heard a creature of the night howling, and by late afternoon, they would chalk it up to a coyote or some teenagers messing about. After all, it was almost Halloween in Cinderbrush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re sure it was Amanda?” asked Sasha. The lunch room milled about as Af finished telling their story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One hundred percent,” they said. Their voice was scratchy and weak. Teachers had asked about it and allergies was a much easier answer than “I saw my dead friend outside my window and bawled my eyes out like a little kid”. Af crumbled up their napkin and chucked it at the nearby garbage can, missing completely. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>smelled</span>
  </em>
  <span> her. Like, it smelled like her in my room, and she’s never been in there before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never </span>
  <em>
    <span>had been</span>
  </em>
  <span> in there before, their brain reminded them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That must have been pretty upsetting,” said Sasha. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m cool,” they lied. “I just don’t know why… Why now? Like, if she was able to ‘come back’ like she did why didn’t she do it earlier?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was probably easier for her to do it now,” Jamie finally spoke up, staying silent throughout Af’s retelling even when they mentioned their attempt to call. “Being so close to the sabbat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The thirty-first is almost here. It makes sense that she’d come back now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Amanda came back from the dead because she didn’t want to miss Halloween?” said Cameron, putting his hand on Af’s much clammier one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly, Cameron, I admire your problem solving skills,” said Jamie, wringing their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The joke fell on an unhappy audience. Sasha stared Jamie down as the next table over started having a chugging contest. “Not the time, Jamie,” she stage-whispered, grimacing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s not why. Shit, sorry,” Jamie rubbed their temple and shifted in their seat to avoid moving the barely-out stitches in their stomach. “Halloween, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>Samhain</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is when the veil between the physical and spiritual world is the weakest. It’s probably easier for spirits who want to make contact to do it closer to this time of year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af had a thought. “Does… it work the other way ‘round?” they asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie looked up. “What are you asking, Af?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cameron and Sasha looked between the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She came through to me, so… could we get through to her? Not like, go to the world of the dead or whatever but like get in contact with her. I…” they paused. “I don’t, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> remember what the last words she said to me are.” Af took a deep breath, determined to make it through one fucking day of school without calling in early. They needed to ask Jamie this. “I want… I don’t want… She might have something to tell us. Or something she wants us to do from the grave. Maybe like, there’s a good horse charity she liked or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie listened quietly to Af speak. The bell began to ring but none of them were quick to pack up just yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we can try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get too into it now, but I think I can figure out a way to get in contact with Amanda </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> directly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would that entail, Jamie?” asked Sasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few things here and there, an hour or two of time on Halloween night, and a place where no one will try to stop us. I’ll tell you more later.” They stiffly stood up and began shuffling to their next class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Af could already see Sasha typing on her phone in her peripheral vision. She turned her head to look back at The Hive, where Cori was already packing up Sasha’s lunch where she had abandoned it. Cori and the rest of The Hive all stared back in unison, nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll have a Halloween party to attend very soon,” she smiled. “Start finding costumes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cameron looked to Af and Sasha. “Talking to Amanda again would be nice. Just once,” he said. He crushed the can of coke he was drinking and chucked it at the trash can (Cinderbrush High made a half hearted attempt to “Go Green” each year but nothing was ever very permanent). “I miss her already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>See, Susie was wrong. Amanda was missed so, so deeply. Her funeral was well attended but what was much more haunting were the days surrounding it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cinderbrush High passed the time in a stupor. The hallways were echoey and quiet, almost half the student body not in attendance. Empty chairs were joined by more and more empty chairs as more and more people left throughout the school days. Those that knew her well were devastated, those that knew her in passing were solemn, and those that didn’t quite know her, but always saw her face around the school, in church, in the grocery store, in a school project or play in middle school, through childhood birthday parties, fourth of July celebrations, and just out in the world felt everyone’s sorrow and mourned together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teachers that didn’t have her made varying efforts to give comfort to their students, they themselves unsure of what to say. A few pastors from the church where her murderers were arrested came in, and the nurse’s office was a steady stream of tears, tissues, and people who were suddenly very, very ill. The cops who now occasionally patrolled the school grounds did mostly that, the guns at their hips cold and heavy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few weeks, the grey that passed over Cinderbrush began to fade, but everyone knew that it wasn’t the end of Amanda Beltman. Her locker stood cleared in the languages hallway, a small memorial poster peeling off at the corners. More glaring was the empty seat in all her classes, not yet lost in rearrangement. Sometimes Af choked up at the thought of what would happen at graduation. Would they leave one empty seat for her on the football quad? Or would they do nothing at all? They couldn’t decide which would be worse, but they knew that they definitely didn’t have the grades to give a speech. Sasha would probably mention something, they hoped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Af had only caught the second half of Cinderbrush’s quiet storm. The hours and days after the police showed up at the church were not spent in jail, thankfully, but in the hospital a town over. Their injuries had healed in good time, but that wasn’t their first concern. Sasha, Cameron, and Jamie (oh god, Jamie) had been hurt very badly, too. Being shot with a gun will do that. Af could barely rest in their hospital bed as their head was filled with worry about the last few days, fliting about from school to the party to the fight, to the ambulance, but mostly to the sight of the small limp body of Jamie being carried by the EMTs, their stomach staining the rest of their outfit red. For a whole day, Af couldn’t get any news about them at all. Cameron came to visit soon after he got released but he was worried as well. Sasha was able to talk to them through text after they removed the bullet from her leg but she had no better clue. Af’s brain spiraled, playing a game of dominos, each friend falling and crashing into the next because they were stupid enough to push the first one too far. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them barely slept until finally, a text came through on the groupchat, telling certain some-peoples to quit blowing up their phone, they were trying to sleep. Jamie could barely care to ignore the three very weepy visitors that came to visit him once they were conscious for periods of time enough to hold a conversation. To the relief of the nurses, soon they all stopped terrorizing Jamie as they all were released from the hospital, Sasha sporting crutches kindly decorated with stickers by The Hive and all of them with enough stitches to sew a new shirt. Luckily the police force waited until after they went to the hospital to question them, which gave them a bit of time to get their story straight. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> going to youth group, and they all happened upon a group of insane cultists from the big city. They </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> go to a party, but they had noooo idea there were drugs there! A few delinquent charges later they were free to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were met with a watchful, suspicious student body and their parents, all with varying responses to the events that transpired. Time had softened many glances their way, but it definitely wasn’t over. Amiee Reyes asked to move seats after Cameron returned to school. Evan Harris fumed quietly as he drank his lunch through a straw, his teeth healing back into place slowly. Rumors spread fast through a small town high school, but even the grieving student body couldn’t help but search for any bit of information they could on Amanda’s death. Some details were thankfully still uncovered, like a certain hideaway in the quarry or the nature of four specific high schoolers, but others were not. Like the school president being seen making out with three different people in the span of an hour as Amanda wandered to her death, or how it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cameron</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all people who got the suspicious text that alerted Amanda. People wept, then they talked, then they stared, then they started planning their Halloween parties. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Af finally caught up to Jamie, both of them heading to the same class anyway. They offered their arm to help keep weight off of his side, which he accepted. While they were at it, Af grabbed their backpack, slinging it over their other shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,’ they sighed. The two stumbled through the hallway as the late bell rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah shit,” said Af.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, I’ve got a hall pass until I can walk normally again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thanks, Jamie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh it’s fine, I’m sure the teacher’ll be cool if I’m helping you get here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean… for the phone call.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ooooh… I mean, you’re kinda making up for it now, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess. Let’s talk to a ghost.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2: Better Find Another Superstition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warnings for this chapter:<br/>Dissasociation, Survivor's Guilt, brief mention of Blood, brief mention of Guns, Retail Store Music</p>
<p>If there are any that I missed, please let me know!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Roughly 30 hours later, Af and Jamie parked outside a Spirit Halloween store miles outside of Cinderbrush. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, it’s your house!” said Af.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haa, haa, haaa,” Jamie jeered. “I actually haven’t been here too often, so let’s hope we can find what we need.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s your costume gonna be?” asked Af, walking around to help Jamie out of the car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not wearing a costume.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Boo. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>boo</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, Jamie Wrenly.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to get all dressed up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af stopped and stared down at Jamie wearing a choker and harness combination that matched their platform boots, chain jewelry, and a full face of black and red makeup in the parking lot of the Spirit Halloween. “Jamie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re dumb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> dumb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re telling me you have just a normal amount of excitement for Halloween? You look like that one guy from Monster High literally every single day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could pound Kieran Valentine into the dirt any day of the year.” Jamie stepped out of the car and shut the door. “I don’t need an overpriced costume store to do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well anyway, I’m thinking of going as a werewolf!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god.” Jamie facepalmed, smearing their eye makeup. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They walked into the Spirit Halloween. Shelves and isles full of leering yard decorations and gigantic spiders greeted them as “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” played on the speakers. Jamie closed their eyes and spun in a circle like they were enjoying a light rain. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” they said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t you say you haven’t been in here before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh hey, Jamie!” a third voice said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They turned to see an employee standing with a cart full of various Halloween candies. “Welcome back, who’s your friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie dropped their arms. “This is Af. Af, this is Brandon Smith, he’s worked here for four and a half consecutive years because he cannot commit to the dress code of any other store in a ten mile radius,” they said, staring him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi Brandon!” Af began to remember how Jamie was able to give directions to this specific store without checking their phone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Brandon waved and went back to reshelving candies. “Let me know if you need anything!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie started walking in the opposite direction. Af followed. “What is it with you and having so many friends in places you’ve ‘never been before’?” they said, forming air quotes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Brandon isn’t my friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what I mean.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie led them to an isle full to bursting with various halloween costumes. Sexy [insert thing here] costumes, a number of knockoff superhero costumes, and sadly no small amount of disgustingly inappropriate stereotype costumes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af pointed to a witch costume. “Hey, look, it’s you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haaa.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They perused through the isle for a few minutes, ruling out almost all of them immediately. As Af continued to look, they spoke up. “Sooo… how exactly is this gonna work?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesse’s parents are still out of town and he’s certain they won’t be back until the weekend. Once Sasha and Cameron finish the last bit of community service they have today, they’re gonna keep drumming up hype for a party. Hence, your costume.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af laughed at the corndog costume they pulled out. Jamie shook their head. “Normally we wouldn’t be let into the clubhouse being…” they searched for the right word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was looking for something more like ‘freaks’ but sure. Luckily, Jesse still hasn’t found a new contact yet so I’ll be in business again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then why aren’t you wearing a costume?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie pointed at the nearest costume. It was a sexy pikachu outfit, with a matching pokeball necklace. “How much candy do you think I could hide in something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to wear a </span>
  <em>
    <span>sexy</span>
  </em>
  <span> costume. Wait, what’s Sasha gonna be wearing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sasha is part of the student government, which means they’re probably gonna be doing some group costume for the school day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feminist part of their brain bitch-slapped the gay part of Af’s brain. “Oh yeah, that makes sense.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She might change for the party, but that depends on how cheesy the group costume’s gonna be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Af sniffed the plastic bag of a dentist costume and choked. “I get all that, mostly, but I’m wondering more about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>thiiing </span>
  </em>
  <span>we’re trying to </span>
  <em>
    <span>doooo</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The thing </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> trying to do while you all watch.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kinky.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie shoved them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, they stared down two costumes: a men’s fireman costume and a werewolf costume with a full wolf head. “Alright, which one?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie stared them both down, fingers on their pursed lip. The speakers began to play “</span>
  <em>
    <span>The Monster Mash</span>
  </em>
  <span>” for the upteenth time and another small bit of Brandon’s soul left his body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Personally, I wouldn’t go with the fireman one. Little too boxy, cheap fabric, and the hat is definitely not gonna fit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah, it’s a Spirit Halloween costume.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Af, you can </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> make the werewolf one out of things that I have seen you wear, just get a wolf head and glue some fuzz to a flannel and you’re fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af transferred one of their bags to their other hand and pointed at Jamie. “Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>youuu</span>
  </em>
  <span> can probably make some sort of vampire or ghost or goth costume with your clothes and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>you spend way more on all that than I would on one of these,” they said, poking Jamie’s harness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie threw their hands up. “Do what you want, it’s no skin off my back. I’m going to the costume jewelry section. Don’t leave and make me hitch a ride.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t do that…” Af tried to say, but Jamie left the isle before they could hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stared at the two costumes. They were both more expensive than Af had first realized. Illegal drugs were one thing, but a 60 dollar Halloween costume was a step too far. They returned the costumes and found a dopey werewolf head that made their wallet cry a bit less. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af milled about for a little bit, grabbing a bottle of fake blood and moldable fangs as they got utterly lost trying to find Jamie in the echoey store. Finally, they stopped walking and took a large sniff of the air. Between the smell of cheap plastic, cheap candy, and Brandon, Af made out Jamie’s scent and followed it to the jewelry section. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They saw Jamie stooped over a display of various plastic necklaces. Af crept closer, craning their neck to see what they were looking at. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need one more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For Halloween. I need one more necklace for what I’m going to do, I’ve already picked three.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I help pick it out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie gestured to the shelf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af peered down, surveying a collection of spooky necklaces. Their eyes landed on a simple red pendant on a thick black string. “I like this one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay! Perfect.” Jamie grabbed the pendant and straightened up. “You have your shit?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I sure do!” Af showed off their wolf head, blood, and fangs. “But.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I’ll be making my costume out of stuff I already have, I… think it’d be cool if you maybe did the same thing? We could match, or not, if you don’t want to, but I dunno, Halloween is supposed to be fun and I think if you want to have fun too you should be able to,” Af waffled on as they checked out. Fuck being cool or reserved or mature, they were teenagers for fuck’s sake. They listened to that one </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be More Chill</span>
  </em>
  <span> song, they knew how teenagers are supposed to feel about Halloween! That was one of the things the counselors said, right? That life moves on after death? And now Amanda’s been dead for more than a month, and if she couldn’t- no, now that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>make it to Halloween, because she’s</span>
  <em>
    <span> dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>, obviously, because Af brought her to a cult party that they lied to their dad about, still</span>
  <em>
    <span> are</span>
  </em>
  <span> lying to their dad about, in a new town where she was their closest friend but that didn’t stop them from leaving her alone even though Jamie told them to stick with a buddy and she was their buddy that doesn’t mean that Af’ll never be happy, really happy again, right? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Af!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Af stopped. Slowly they returned to the land of the living (how ironic) as their vision began to clear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were outside the Spirit Halloween, Jamie’s hand squeezing theirs. Looking down, they saw the plastic bag holding their purchases in their right hand. Their left was busy gripping their arm with such intensity Af was surprised they hadn’t drawn blood. They swallowed, feeling the lightest clink of teeth inside their mouth as they unclenched their jaw.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie quietly looked over at them. Slowly, they took Af’s hand off their arm, holding it in their own. Af could feel the rough burn patches of their icy hands running over their fingers, searching for punctures or blood under their fingernails, unclipped. Jamie exhaled, fiddling with their rings once they made sure Af hadn’t hurt themself. “I said I’d think about it. I’m not making matching costumes, but I’ll think up something else. Now, what was that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I just zoned out for a bit,” Af said. “I was thinking about different Broadway musicals- wait, have you ever been to Broadway? Are you in that part of New York?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t give me that bullshit, I practically wrote that bullshit. We left the store fifteen minutes ago and the first time I tried to call your name you </span>
  <em>
    <span>growled</span>
  </em>
  <span> at me. Are You. O-kay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well fuck. A large truck drove past the parking lot, reminding them of the long drive home. “I’m honestly still kinda out of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s fine, let’s go sit down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie led them both to the back of Af’s pickup truck. They tossed the bag in the car and sat down in the back. Af sat next to them, breathing deeply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sat quietly, listening to cars go by on the highway. It helped, a little. After a few minutes, Jamie looked back at them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… better.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie sighed, staring back at the road home. “I’d offer to drive but I can’t drive stick. We can get… fuck, Cam and Sasha are doing community service right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af watched gears try to turn in Jamie’s head. It was nice to see someone concerned about them, although the circumstances of the gesture still rattled in their head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I’ll be okay to drive us home, just like, talk to me through it or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie sighed. “Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>* * *</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So while you were unconscious, you were… looking through </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a way,” said Jamie, wiping makeup off in the car mirror. “It felt like a really janky first person shooter game.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But without guns.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘Course.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them were halfway back to Cinderbrush. Jamie finished wiping off his makeup and crumbled up his makeup wipe in their hand. “I could stop whenever I wanted to, but it was weird seeing everything from that perspective. Certainly trippier than chucking bats at people.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was it like seeing the tops of people’s heads for the first time?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will… jump out of this car.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nooo, don’t!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie stayed in their seat as Af switched lanes. “I’m gonna try using the same logic on Halloween.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t you just wake up in… her grave? If you’re going to be looking through her eyes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I can try to reverse engineer it. It might be a bit finicky but that’s what the necklaces are gonna be for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Af whistled. “Good thing you don’t need something of hers for this to work, that sounds complicated.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I definitely do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But then how did you see through me? You didn’t have anything of mine!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie dug in their pocket and grabbed a small object. They dropped it on the dashboard next to some spare change and a list from the anger management office. “This is how.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing down, Af saw a familiar pair of binoculars glinting off the afternoon sun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I was looking for those!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was that or a chunk of your hair. I’ll trade you the binoculars for something of hers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jamie,” Af glanced at them. “I don’t have anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jamie turned. “What do you mean you don’t have anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I gave all of Amanda’s things I found to her parents once I got out of the hospital.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Jamie said. They held their head, hands shaking. “We need something. I need </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Could we break into her locker?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They emptied it out weeks ago, my dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god.” Jamie smacked their head on the dashboard. “We’re screwed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uhhh…” Af wracked their brain for any places they could find Amanda’s things. “I don’t think there’s any horse stables around… would Sasha know anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> way Sasha would be able to help with something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wohoo, another chapter done!<br/>I'm glad y'all seem to be enjoying this so far, thank you for the kudos and comments! I may try to change when I upload new chapters because my current schedule has me posting the night before an ungodly early morning class ;;.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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